


100°

by LitsyKalyptica



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cancer, F/F, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-02-26 14:48:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13237998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LitsyKalyptica/pseuds/LitsyKalyptica
Summary: 'Dear Amanda,I'd lost the love of my life once, and I don't know if I can do it again.'





	1. Chapter 1

“So when can I start calling him my stepdad?”

I sighed through a quiet laugh. “Amanda, we’re not even engaged yet.” Why I still refused to use speaker phone was a mystery even to me, but especially to my daughter. I had my phone tucked between my cheek and my shoulder, like I remembered from my premilennial youth, as I struggled to zip up the last suitcase. “We’re gonna be leaving soon. Be there sometime tomorrow evening.”

I almost couldn’t believe it. My little girl was graduating art school. She was going to be an adult, officially, in a way I couldn’t protest anymore. She’d be getting her first real job through a connection she’d made with one of her classmates, whose father ran an agency in New York. Still quite a ways from Maple Bay, but I’d feel better having her just a little bit closer to home. Besides, she was going to be spending a few weeks with us to start out her summer and get ready for the big move.

“Neat! Sorry we don’t have enough room at our place. I know Chicago hotels can be expensive, especially in the graduation season.”

“No, it’s fine. It’ll give you and Morgan a chance to mentally prepare yourselves for looming Actual Adulthood.”

“Little Attie is five, Pops. Morgan’s been an Actual Adult for at least that long.”

“Okay, but then the question is are you ready to take on such a long and arduous quest?”

“I swear by all the salt in me that I am!”

“That’s my girl.” I reveled in my pride for just a moment before deciding this really wasn’t going to close without help. “Hold on a second, sweetie. Briar and/or Hazel! Can you come in here?”

“Coming!” At this distance I couldn’t tell which of them it was.

Amanda brought my attention back to the phone. “I’m surprised you guys aren’t bringing the whole cul-de-sac with you.”

“Yeah, me too. But everyone sends their love. I’m sure we’ll have another graduation party for you when we get back into town.”

“Mac and cheese bar?”

‘Whatever you like.”

Briar came jogging into the room. It was really so much easier to tell the twins apart now that Briar had cut her hair. “What’s up, Dean?”

“I need you to sit on this suitcase for me so I can zip it closed.”

“On it!” 

She hopped up onto the bed and plopped down on the suitcase. It closed up a little bit, but still not enough for me to pull the zipper all the day. I huffed. “We’ll need something heavier. Go get your sister.” She scurried off somewhere into the house. 

I’d meant for her to go get Hazel. Neither of the girls weighed too much on their own, but I believed with their combined efforts we could--

She came back with a sleepy River in tow.

“Okay, so I know you probably meant Hazel, but she went with Dad to get the car’s oil changed. So River’s gonna help us out.”

The five-year-old rubbed her eyes, chin pressed down to her chest. “Amanda, I’ll call you back in a few minutes.” I hung up. “Briar, did you wake her up?”

“What? No. She wouldn’t go down for her nap so she’s tired.”

I scooped River up. She almost immediately fell asleep against my shoulder. I could worry about the suitcase some more when Craig and Hazel got home. Surely all of our combined efforts could get it to zip.

I laid River down in her bed and she whined and shifted as she woke up. “You tired, sweetheart?” I asked her gently.

“Yes,” she whined, burying her face in the pillow. “I’ll take nap now…”

“Okay. Sweet dreams.” I kissed her head and turned the light off on my way out.

Briar had returned to packing her own suitcase. Once in a while she was getting things out of her twin’s luggage -”This hairbrush is mine, this bracelet is mine…”- and putting it in her own bag. Everyone was limited to only one suitcase. Craig had bought River a really cute Minnie Mouse suitcase just for the trip, and had helped her pack it this morning. It had taken literally all morning. I noticed the work seemed to be wearing on him a little more than it normally would have. May just be the stress of the impending travel. I’d give him a break and cook dinner tonight. AKA it was gonna be a takeout night. The girls had eaten nothing but healthy meals all week, and it wasn’t like they couldn’t afford a night off that every once in a while. With nothing else to do, everything for the journey already taken care of, I set to checking out our options.

“Dad threw his back out!”

Hazel came in the door carrying some kind of shopping bag. Craig came in behind her, holding his back, and I questioned the necessity of Hazel’s proclamation. But almost immediately I was worried about my partner, and stood to help him out. “Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just… I don’t know, bro, one second I’m fine and then--” He hissed in obvious pain. I winced and helped him sit down. “I don’t know what happened.”

“Alright, well you’re off duty for the night. I’ve got dinner covered. River’s napping--”

“Oh man, she’s never gonna get to sleep if she’s napping this late.”

I checked the time and found it was already four. Whoops. “That’s alright, we just need to get her in the car in the morning. She can sleep all she wants on the ride.”

Craig’s fingers started twitching. He was counting how many hours of sleep she’d get like this. After a moment he just sighed and settled into the sofa, wincing a little at the change in position. He smiled a little up at me. “So, you’re handling dinner.”

“Yes I am.”

“What’re we having?”

I didn’t want to say takeout but “Takeout.”

He didn’t seem too perturbed by that. “What kind of takeout?”

“Well, what’re you in the mood for?”

I heard two voices shout in unison from the kitchen, “Pizza!” Craig laughed a little. “Pizza it is, then. Girls, come in here for a second.”

The young teens shuffled into the living room. “Yeah?”

“Dean’s gonna order pizza, but only after your homework’s all done.” He’d picked up a week’s worth of assignments for them on Friday that needed to be dropped in the school’s mailbox before we left. He’d spent all day yesterday helping them complete it all so they wouldn’t have to worry about it on the little vacation or, worse, not be able to go with us.

“I finished mine this morning,” Briar answered, and eyed her sister. I could see the fire in her eyes that dared Hazel to ruin a pizza night with procrastination.

“I actually finished before her,” Hazel added with a triumphant smirk.

“Okay. I trust you both on that.” And that was my cue to order.

I called and put in our usual order of a large sausage and pepper pie for delivery. “Craig, did you want a salad or…?”

He shook his head slightly, and I ordered a second small pie. He’d loosened up just a little bit in his very strict diet, and I was happy for him. He was allowed to be human every once in a while, he was finally starting to see. And sometimes being human meant eating one thing when you probably should be eating something else. It was all about moderation, about not sweating the little things. I kissed his head and settled in on the couch next to him. The twins sat on the floor, leaning against our knees, foregoing a perfectly good second sofa. They turned the TV on and we watched whatever it had to offer. River came out from her room and joined us shortly after, moving onto the sofa to sit on Craig’s lap.

We had, overall, a very pleasant evening, and all went to bed excited about the trip to Chicago, and to see Amanda graduate. But by the time the girls all got to bed, it was clear Craig’s backache hadn’t dissipated. Once he got into bed, I tried to massage it away, but he just yelped in pain and I pulled my hands back. I laid down next to him. “Hey. We still have time before the ceremony and everything. We can get that checked out before we go, just postpone a day or two.”

He shook his head a little, face squished into the pillow. “It’s fine, bro. I’ll be fine.”

I decided to believe him, kissed his head, and turned out the light.


	2. Chapter 2

We were set to leave at around three in the morning.

The twins were, collectively, more difficult to wake up than River. Although River was also allowed to stay in her pajamas, whereas her sisters had to get dressed before we could leave. In all fairness, Craig and I were up well before them. Craig even tried to squeeze in a quick jog to work off a little of past night’s pizza, but it was clear his back was still hurting, so I didn’t let him out the door until we had to go. River was still very tired, so he made up for his perceived stagnation by carrying her around while the rest of us got ready to go.

We got on the road at a reasonable time, or as reasonable as it could be before sunrise. Considering we’d both gotten very little sleep, Craig and I were taking turns driving, agreeing to switch off every hour or two, depending on how each of us were feeling. Amanda was expecting us at the tail end of a sixteen-hour-trip (with time factored in for food and bathroom breaks) but if we were a little late I’d just call and let her know.

If I kept my phone on me while Craig was driving, I knew I’d be distracted from some much needed shut-eye. So I passed it back to the twins and let them use up my data plan to explore what we might want to do while we were in Chicago. River was fast asleep, face pressed against the car door and leaving her drooling. We’d clean that up later. Right now? Nap time.

* * *

When I woke up the sun was bright in the sky. I checked the time. “Eight already?” I looked over to Craig; the bags under his eyes were more pronounced than usual, but he seemed to be fine driving. He wasn’t nodding off or anything. Still, my extended nap left me feeling refreshed and ready to take over. I spotted a rest stop up ahead. “Here, let’s pull over and get some breakfast.”

Craig seemed startled that I was even awake. He must’ve gotten used to my silence over the last few hours. “Oh, yeah. Girls, you hungry?”

“Yes,” the twins answered in unison. River started to wake up just as we pulled into the parking lot.

I watched Craig as he got out of the car. He stretched a little, but couldn’t get his arms above his head before the ache in his back started acting up again. It seemed worse, actually, even as Craig tried to bite back a yelp. Damn. Okay, first thing in the morning we were going to get that checked out. Later on, probably when we got to the hotel, I’’d try looking up a chiropractor that we could see while we were in town. I’m sure Amanda and Morgan wouldn’t mind watching the girls for a couple of hours. Besides, I had a couple of things planned that weren’t exactly child-friendly.

Craig took the girls to the bathroom and I ordered us some bagels. I knew everyone’s order by heart; bagels were very much an acceptable breakfast on a Craig diet. He didn’t seem to mind that it was mostly carbs. We all needed energy to start the day, after all. I ordered a half dozen, including ones we could split on the ride, and some bottles of orange juice.

When we got back to the car, I hopped into the driver’s seat before Craig could try to claim it first. After buckling myself in, I set an alarm on my phone for four hours later, and told him that he wasn’t allowed to take over until at least then. Surprisingly, he didn’t protest, and was asleep against the window before we even pulled out of the rest stop, bagel going untouched in his lap.

The rest of the journey went on without much incident. We pulled over a couple more times to switch off driving duty, and the girls slept through most of the afternoon. We stopped at a diner for an early dinner, but didn’t stay too long, trying to keep to our schedule. And keep to our schedule we did! We got to Amanda’s place a little before eight, There was nowhere to park outside, and Craig and I started to discuss him going to find a parking spot while I took the girls upstairs, when the front door of the building flung open.

“Dad!”

I was smiling ear to ear as Amanda came running down the stairs, and I almost hit her with the car door in my excitement to meet her. Not my finest parenting moment, but I think it could be excused. “Hey, Manda Panda! How’re you doing?”

“I’m great, Pops, but it looks like you guys need somewhere to park. Here, you guys get inside and I’ll take care of it.”

I stared at her in wonder. “Amanda… do you… parallel park now?”

She laughed and shot finger guns at me. “Well, Morgan’s even worse at it than you are. Someone had to step up to the plate.”

I teared up a little and hugged her tight, somewhat purposely over-the-top. “My baby’s all grown up!”

She didn’t push me away at first, but a car stuck behind ours honked, and it brought us back to the situation at hand. “Here, I’m gonna go park the car. Morgan’s upstairs, she knows you’re coming.”

I nodded we made that arrangement. Amanda saluted us and drove off, and we headed inside out of the cold.

I’d met Morgan a few times now, and talked to her several more over the phone. She’d come to spend this past winter break with us. She was a very nice young woman, a little shy before you got to know her, underneath which lay an very dominant personality, but she was friendly and great with kids and seemed generally happy despite the lot dealt to her in life.

I didn’t know her feelings on us just walking in, so I decided to knock.

“Coming!” There was some shuffling inside, and then the door opened. “Oh, hey!” She hugged me quick then stood aside to let us all in. River saw the toys scattered on the floor and immediately ran to start playing with them. “Sorry the place is a mess. I had to send Attie to bed early because he refused to pick up his toys.”

“Oh, that’s alright! It gives River something to do while we’re here.”

Morgan greeted Craig and the twins with a smiliar hug to the one she’d given me. “Amanda’s parking the car?” I nodded. Morgan huffed out a laugh. “She was talking all day about how our neighbor’s cousin better leave by the time you get here. She almost spent the afternoon watching outside to see when the car pulled off, but we took Atticus out for lunch so that she couldn’t waste the day like that. She’s really been looking forward to this, but I think the graduation anxiety might be messing with her.”

I nodded, and started to worry a little. But I didn’t want to start our stay on that kind of note, especially with everyone else around us. I thought Craig and I were integrating our families pretty well so far, but there were still some times that I needed to spend with just Amanda, just the two of us, even more so when she was so far away.

“Once Amanda gets back we’ll give you a quick tour of the house. What time are you supposed to check in at the hotel?”

I shrugged, having forgotten, so Craig answered for me. “We can’t check in until ten, they said.”

“Oh, perfect, so we’ve got plenty of time for you guys to relax. Long drive, huh?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “We took turns driving, but somebody here didn’t stick to the plan about how often we would switch off.”

Craig averted his eyes and meekly tried to change the subject, just when Amanda came in.

“Cold out!” She got out of her coat and hat and handed Craig back the key. “So, house tour?”

Amanda showed us around, all the rooms except for Attie’s room, because he was supposed to be asleep. We stayed a while after, killing time until we could check in to the hotel, but we genuinely enjoyed catching up. Amanda and Morgan had plenty of stories to tell, and Craig and I had a few of our own. River was still playing with Attie’s toys, and Briar and Hazel were watching something on one of their phones. They were clearly still pretty tired, and it was better to let them do what they want than force them to do what they didn’t.

It wasn’t until almost eleven, and I had lost track of the time, that we decided we needed to finally get going. We said goodbye to Morgan and Amanda walked us to the car. River had fallen asleep; Craig started carrying her, but I took over. “You rest up, okay? I’ve got this.”

He didn’t protest it, didn’t try to take her back. I helped get the kids situated back in the car and drove us to the hotel.

“Girls, help your dad with the bags.” I was getting us checked in, and they were loading our stuff onto a fancy looking luggage cart.

“Why? He can get it.”

Sound logic. I don’t think the kids noticed anything different about their father. Maybe I was just overanalyzing things? Maybe it wasn’t that bad. “Okay.”

The room we booked had a great view but only two queen beds. “The three of you can fit,” Craig chided when the twins started arguing about having to share a bed with not only each other but their little sister. “It’s just a couple of nights.”

“Well, good thing I brought my sleeping bag--”

“Hazel, you are not sleeping on the floor.”

“Why can’t River sleep in the bed with you?”

“There’d be even less room and--” He cut himself off when he noticed River huddled in the corner of the bed, clearly very tired and her eyes wet. “Oh, sweetheart….” He scooped her up to sit her on his lap. “Which bed to you wanna sleep in? Do you want to sleep with your sisters or with me and Dean?”

“Wanna sleep with Dad…”

He nodded and, though scowling a little at the way the twins celebrated getting their way, he brought River over to our bed. He set her down and straightened up, slowly and stiffly, his back still clearly bothering him. I wanted to say something, but didn’t want to worry the girls, nor put off our sleep any longer. But I did offer my assistance. “Here, I’ll get her ready for bed.”

River was cranky with how tired she was, but I helped her brush her teeth and get changed into her pajamas. By the time we came out, everyone else was asleep. River got up into the bed (with a little boost from me) and snuggled in between us. “Night, Dad. Night, Dean.”

I kissed her head. “Night, pumpkin.”


	3. Chapter 3

In the morning we were going out with Amanda, Morgan, and Atticus for brunch. Not until nearly noon, though, so it gave us plenty of time to sleep in. We all needed it.

The hotel wasn’t too far away from their apartment, just outside the city. We met them halfway at a little corner diner, the eight of us huddled around two tables put together. I arranged it so that River and Atticus would sit together. They got along fine, but I wanted so badly for them to be best friends. My maybe-one-day stepdaughter and my maybe-one-day stepgrandson. Maybe. One day.

The diner provided them both with coloring mats and a couple of crayons each. Having different colors they’d go on to share probably helped initiate their bonding. I should thank the waitress for that.

Once everyone had eaten their fill -and I probably ate about two fills- we figured out what we were going to do for the day. Just about the time that Morgan suggested going to the Lincoln Park Zoo, though the idea excited me more than a little, I remembered that I had wanted to take Amanda out to get a graduation outfit today. I turned to her. “You down for some daddy-daughter time today?”

She looked a little taken aback by the suggested but smiled brightly. “Always, Pops! What’d you have in mind?”

I explained the idea to her, leaving off the part about wanting to talk about potential anxiety for the future, and she nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Amanda was never one for shopping but she seemed enthusiastic about the idea. I was just relieved I didn’t have to talk her into it.

We all agreed that the rest of them would go to the zoo, the small children bouncing around their respective parents in an effort to get going faster, and we went our separate ways for the afternoon. We’d meet up again for dinner.

Amanda led the way to just where she wanted to check out, and I was all too happy to take her.

I started the conversation when she was in the dressing room, trying on a sleeveless blouse. Uncomfortable conversations were always easier when you didn’t have to look at the person you’re talking to. “Hey, Panda? “

“Yeah?”

“How’re you feeling about being done with school?”

“Oh, I’m excited! Almost feels like I’ve been here too long already. I worked really hard and I’m happy to be done with it.”

“And what about moving to New York?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, that’s cool. I’m lucky to have gotten a job at all.”

“And you’re not nervous?”

“Huh?”

“You’re not nervous? About moving on to another stage of your life?”

There was a long pause in the conversation. Well, it probably only lasted a few seconds, but my own anxiety made it feel so much longer. “... Yeah. I am, a little. But I think Morgan being there with me will make it all a little easier.” She came out of the dressing room in the green sleeveless blouse. I didn’t like how it was so low cut in the front, but she cut off my concern with an offhanded comment about how she’d need to get a cami to go with it. I only barely knew what she was talking about. “It’s gonna be a big step. And probably pretty scary. But I’ve been making big scary steps for a while now. And I know I’ve got a lot of people who have my back.” She smiled a little. “So, yeah, I think I’ll be fine.”

I decided to trust her on that for now. If anything else came up, it could be addressed then. In the meantime I’d just be a little more vigilant than usual about how she might be feeling. Which was to say, very, very vigilant.

Amanda still didn’t much like shopping; the first outfit she tried on was the one I ended up buying for her. That top, a black camisole, black leggings, and shoes that in some way matched her shirt. We had plenty of time to kill before we were supposed to meet up with the others, so Amanda took me around town, showing me all the hot spots she’d frequented over the last few years. I could see the nostalgia in her eyes. She was probably going to miss Chicago more than she let on.

When we did reconvene, they were just leaving the zoo. The girls and Atticus were all decked out in overpriced merchandise, and on top of it all Craig had bought Amanda a hat with panda ears on it, which she immediately donned with pride. River started talking my ear off about all the animals she’d seen, and the twins showed me pictures to corroborate her descriptions. We got dinner at the same  diner we’d eaten at that morning, bringing the day around full circle.

Right after dinner we went by Horne’s campus museum for the BFA Exhibition, in which Amanda’s Capstone project was being displayed. The series consisted of gorgeous and seemingly impossible portraits of her friends interlain with the city landscape. Faces blended perfectly into theiir surroundings, blurring the lines where one image ended and the other began. One of the pictures was of Morgan, woven in with the face  of their apartment building. Through a combination of raw imagery and digital effects she’d really created something spectacular.

I didn’t understand what it was trying to say, if indeed it was trying to say anything at all other than “look at what good art I made,” but I was definitely impressed and incredibly proud.

When I asked Amanda what she was trying to say with that piece, she just smirked and shrugged.

* * *

We went back to Amanda’s apartment to hang out and relax for a little while before we headed back to the hotel. Well, Amanda didn’t have time to relax.

“I can’t believe you put packing off to the last minute,” Morgan sighed, getting Attie ready for bed.

“She takes after her father!” Craig called from the next room.

“I’m filing for divorce, bro. Not even married but I’m filing for divorce.”

“Hey, don’t do that to the girls!”

I ruffled River’s hair as she played with her father’s-boyfriend’s-daughter’s-girlfriend’s-son’s toys. “Wish we could stay and help you pack, Manda, but we better get going. Can’t sleep in tomorrow.” I stood and kissed her head, and we started to get ready to leave. 

Morgan brought Atticus out from his bath. “Oh, you’re heading out? Attie, say goodnight.”

“Night, Mommy Manda’s family…”

That was too much cuteness for my poor heart. I would adopt this child as my own.

Craig had to pull me out of the apartment.

Back at the hotel, the girls plopped down immediately, and tonight the twins didn’t argue that River wanted to sleep in their bed tonight. I could tell they actually found it pretty sweet that their little sister wanted to sleep nestled between them. Hazel tried to put up a front like she might have been annoyed, but she cracked so easily.

“C’mon, girls, go brush your teeth and get into pajamas.”

Briar and Hazel took turns getting changed in the bathroom, and enjoyed the luxury of not having to fight over the sink when they were granted two. River got changed out in the room while they were doing so, getting herself dressed for bed. Craig normally would’ve helped her, but he just sat on our bed and supervised. Once the bathroom was free I took her in to brush her teeth.

The kids all ready for bed, we both tucked them in and they watched Steven Universe on Briar’s phone until they fell asleep. I took the opportunity alone in the dark with Craig to address what had been bugging me this whole trip.

“Hey. Your back still hurt?”

He shrugged a little, but I could see the answer in his downcast eyes. “It’s fine, bro. Probably just pulled something.”

I kissed his cheek while I took a moment to think about what to say next. “Before we go back home I want you to get it checked out, okay? We have time. Or we’ll make time. Okay?”

I knew he didn’t want to admit weakness, but he softened slightly. “Thanks. Yeah, I’ll get it looked at.” He laughed a little to lighten the mood. “Probably just getting old, right?”

I didn’t know if I bought it. The two of us being the same tender age of forty-eight evened things out on that end, and if either of us was going to be feeling the effects of age first, it was going to be the one of us who spent the last twenty years indulging in the sweet, salty, and greasy goodnesses life had to offer me. I had aches and random bouts of illness every once in a while, but something about this felt… off. Craig worked out too well and too often to be feeling like this. Because it wasn’t just the backache, was it? “You’ve looked like shit for days.”

He didn’t seem to have expected this response, and to be fair I hadn’t expected it, either. “What do you mean?”

“You’re just super tired all the time, even now that you’ve started to give yourself breaks more often, you’re looking more rundown than before.”

It almost seemed like he was realizing this for the first time, but there was a glint of recognition in his eyes: recognition of something he’d noticed long before I had, but that he just wasn’t willing to speak aloud. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll get that checked out too.”

He turned over, away from me. I could hear a stifled hiss of pain.

I was ready to clock out for the night, but I didn’t want either of us to go to sleep on a sour note. I leaned over him, and kissed his cheek, lingering there. “I love you, bro.”

I could barely see any of his face at this angle, but I did see just the corner of his lips lifting in a small smile. “I love you too, bro.”

Satisfied, I gave him one more kissed before settling into the pillows for the night.

My baby girl was graduating the next day. I don’t know how I was able to sleep a wink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments = quicker, better updates!


	4. Chapter 4

The big day. My baby girl was graduating from college. Every parent’s dream.

I was probably up way too early, though. I’d bought something nice to wear for the ceremony, but by the time I was all done showering and ironing and getting dressed, I realized no one else was even awake yet, nor did they have to be. Six in the morning. Craig might’ve gotten up for a quick jog, but I’d told him to put that bit of the routine aside for our little vacation. So I was the only person awake, fully dressed, alone, and waiting for a proper time to get everyone else up.

I couldn’t even watch TV.

At eight I got tired of just sitting around and decided this was a fine time to start the day. I clapped my hands together loudly, moving between the beds. “Alright, rise and shine, everyone, we’ve got a big day ahead of us!”

The girls clearly didn’t appreciate me as an alarm clock, so they didn’t let me help them get ready. Which was a shame, because then Craig had to do it while also having to get ready himself, while I sat around ready and pretty useless. I tried to jump in and help River brushing her teeth, but she was pretty cranky and put off by it, so I backed out of the bathroom.

We got there early to get the best seat possible. The first several rows were reserved for the graduating students, but everything else was fair game. The auditorium was huge, but there were many students in the ceremony today. Amanda was only allowed enough tickets for four people, which we didn’t know until that morning, but the woman at the door suggested that we could all fit if one of us didn’t mind River sitting on our knees. So we took our seats, front and center, River wandering up and down the aisle but told to come and sit on Craig’s lap once more people started filing in.

It all went by in a blur. I was so excited I could hardly think straight. I was only barely aware of what was going on in the seats next to me.

“Dad, I’m hungry,” one of the twins groaned, but I didn’t catch which one. By force of habit, and very much in Father Mode, I almost responded with a Classic Dad Joke (even though Briar/Hazel wasn’t talking to me) but Craig cut off that thought.

“Hey, bro, I’m gonna go see if there’s a little cafe or something nearby.”

I realized then that we hadn’t had the chance to eat before we left, and was surprised that the matter of food hadn’t come up sooner. Kudos to the girls for being on the ball today. “Yeah, yeah, go on, I’ll save your seat.”

“Do you want anything?”

“Just get me whatever, I’m too excited to really be hungry.”

He nodded and stood (with some difficulty) and headed out to find our breakfast. I looked over at the girls. Briar was looking through the graduation program, and I saw her circle Amanda’s name in it with a pink highlighter. Hazel had her feet up on the seat in front of her, earbuds in and texting. River moved a seat over to sit next to me, but pretended to hide. I smiled and played along. “Oh no, where’d River go?” I wondered aloud. 

Hazel looked over in concern before catching on. “Oh, I think we lost her!”

River was grinning widely behind the hands over her face. “Your dad’s gonna be really upset to see she’s missing!”

“I’m not missing, Dean!” she laughed, finally uncovering herself and dropping the ruse. “I’m right here!”

“Oh, there you are!” I hugged her and squeezed her tight. “We thought you were gone forever!”

She giggled and tried to push me off. “You guys are silly!”

“We’re very silly.” Hazel ruffled her sister’s hair and returned to her phone. River leaned over the armrest and asked if she could do word jumbles with me. I always carried my pocket version with me, even to my daughter’s graduation, so I whipped it out and we started working on one of the easier puzzles. I got schooled by a kindergartener.

Craig came back just before the ceremony was due to start. The auditorium was now packed with proud parents like myself, and I felt part of the collective but also a drive to brag about my daughter’s accomplishments. The little old grandmother next to me held her own quite well until my partner returned and a truce was called. “Hey, what’d you find?”

“There was a little bakery around the corner, so I picked up some muffins.” He handed them out to his daughters one by one, each receiving their favorite flavors. I’d barely unwrapped my pumpkin muffin before realizing Craig didn’t seem to get anything for himself, but before I could say anything, the graduation march started playing and all other thoughts fled my mind but “MY BABY IS GRADUATING.”

* * *

 

I’d seemed to have forgotten just how boring graduation ceremonies could be, though. The room was overcrowded and hot and was too noisy to properly hear anything, and I couldn’t see Amanda from this angle, and all I could do was wait for that ten glorious seconds when Amanda would be up on that stage, shaking hands with the dean and other school officials I didn’t know or care to know about, but it just seemed to be taking so long to get to that moment. In the meantime I just ate half my muffin, and shoved the other half into Craig’s hand.

I could hear River whining from her seat, and what I wouldn’t give in that moment to be a five-year-old who could get away with something like that. “Dad, when’s it over?”

“Just try to be patient, sweetpea. This is a big day for Amanda. She worked really hard to be here today, and we’re here to celebrate her achievement.” But because kids weren’t so easy to keep seated very long with nothing to do, Craig always had a Plan B on him, a composition notebook and box of crayons. He gave them to her with the promise that she would draw quietly, so she didn’t disturb the people around us. She nodded and got to work, not making a peep for the rest of the wait.

And then it happened.

And as soon as it did, it was over.

I’d just barely managed to get a picture while she was up on there, but it was blurry and overexposed and I cursed under my breath, loudly enough for Craig to hear me but not River sitting next to him. He’d gotten a picture, but his hands weren’t shaking, so he managed to get a much better version. I kissed him hard on the cheek and smiled to myself as I sunk into the chair to suffer through the rest of the event.

It took forever to find Amanda in the sea of graduates right after the ceremony. She wanted to introduce us to her friends, some of whom I recognized their names. I was honestly just grateful there weren’t additional Emmas in her life.

We’d made reservations for an early dinner, and really had to get going, but Amanda kept making excuses to not have to leave yet. I could recognize the pain of separation from the people she’d spent these long years with, and considered that maybe we still had time to cancel. I only barely mentioned it to Craig before he was calling it in, phone balanced between his ear and his shoulder as he held River up out of the crowd.

So we weren’t going out to a nice dinner that night. We went back to one of the friends’ apartments and ordered from various restaurants. While we waited we all made bets on who what order the delivery people would arrive in. The twins made out with twenty dollars each that night, while Amanda had to pay each person’s tips. I slipped her a twenty, and jokingly told her to consider it her graduation present.

Afterwards we played charades and a couple of games from the theater kids that I swear they were making up on that spot. When River and Atticus got bored of Legos and Barbie dolls, they put on a show for us that went on about an hour longer than we could’ve ever expected. I was surprised at how all the non-parents in the room kept enthusiastically engaged the whole time.

I’d say it was a pretty nice dinner after all.

* * *

 

As the night started coming to a close, I decided it was probably time to reveal Amanda’s actual graduation present. I’d gotten both her and Morgan monogrammed bracelets with teal beads and a golden band, reminiscent of their school colors. Morgan didn’t seem to expect the gist, and as I was being mauled in a hug by my daughter, she just smiled breathlessly and gave a quiet “thank you.”

“But wait, there’s more!” I added, putting on my best Billy Mays impression -and by my best, I meant probably the worst anyone in the room could imagine. I pulled out a carefully wrapped gift, covered in glittery green paper and wrapped up with a twirly blue bow. “Okay, this one’s technically from all of us.”

Though an only child, Amanda was far from spoiled. An only child myself, I knew to avoid something like that, no matter how easy it would be just to give in to her every wish and desire. I would bleed myself dry for this girl, but she never took advantage of that. Amanda didn’t know, nor expect, that she was getting anything but the first rather simple gift. So I knew that when she opened the second one to find a new and supposedly high-quality art tablet inside, I had to get a picture of her reaction.

This time my picture really captured the excitement of the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment! :)


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